It seems fitting that as we are in this weekend that celebrates all things motherhood that we should talk about our mothers, namely my mother who has accompanied me on many hare-brained and full-brained adventures. While my family has always made traveling a priority (a perk of having a father who earns a ridiculous amount of miles from work), it wasn’t until after high school that my mom and I started having our own trips without the menfolk. Side note: there was the epic college road tour of 2002 while I was in high school, but since I have a narcoleptic response to motion sickness and we made that journey via a standard vehicle, I have very few memories.
In the 10+ years we’ve been adventuring together, my mom and I have traveled about in Paris, Poland, Uganda, Tanzania, Singapore, Cambodia, and Vietnam. Not to mention the various weekend trips we’ve taken to visit friends and loved ones here in the States. Throughout all of this adventuring, we have managed to actually enjoy each other and ourselves on these trips to the extent that we continue to make future plans together. So if you are thinking about setting out on a trip with your mom, here are some lessons we’ve learned along the way:
1. Be vocal about your needs before you start your trip.
My mom loves history and story and art and then more history and then even more art… and you see where this is going. I sometimes think that if it was possible and not creepy that my mom would live in an art museum. I on the other hand need a whole lot of fresh air and a fair amount of downtime from crowds. When traveling about in Paris, we made a deal. In the morning we could go to any museum, exhibit, or the like that my mom desired but in the afternoon we would mosey about a new arrondissement and take advantage of the numerous cafes. Both of us got what we needed and hurt feelings/unmet expectations were avoided.
2. Embrace alone time.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my mom. It’s just that space is a good thing, even on or especially on a mother/daughter vacation. Make it a point to spend some time wandering about your new locale on your own terms. This is especially important if you don’t both operate on the same schedule. Instead of waiting for your travel buddy to wake up, get ready, etc., go outside and stretch your legs. Hey now, you may even make a new friend during your wanderings.
3. Pursue activities that only make you happy solo.
In case you are new to this neck-of-the-interwebs, I love to explore the outdoors and have a hard time saying no if it is in any way, shape, or form related to some kind of activity in nature. My mom enjoys these things but also really appreciates sunbathing with a cold beer and a good book. In Vietnam, we all were invited to go on a hike through the woods to a waterfall. Two out of three of us thought that sounded like an excellent idea so my friend and I went and my mom hung out down by the beach. Happily. Without resentment.
4. All you need is love.
Need I say more? But seriously - you’ve made this decision to travel with your mother so there is a general assumption that she’s a pretty sweet lady. After all she had something to do with you now being an (almost) adult. Inevitably, we all get on each other’s nerves at some point but the best response we can have is to choose to assume positive intent. Because after all we love our mamas and I’m pretty sure they love us too.
