I’m not one for making a big to do over the changing of years. Usually I slowly accept that one year is coming to an end and then a bit reluctantly make my way into the next. I would like to blame my lack of enthusiasm on my inability to function past 10 pm but really it is because there is just too much pressure on one night. Add that to me not being much of a drinker, startling easily from loud noises, and as a general rule avoiding crowds, and my attitude toward the holiday is not surprising. My favorite New Year’s Eve thus far has been an evening of cooking with a few friends and then lounging in front of a fire while sipping champagne. We may have even missed the ball dropping (Full disclosure: I didn't even realize what the ball drop was, as in what I was supposed to be paying attention to, until I was about 20 years old. I grew up in New York. This should be standard knowledge.)
This year I found myself with a small group of friends, eating too many snacks, and snuggling with a family member’s pup as the new year rang in. I was grumpy before I made my way over and I was grumpy after. In fact, I've been kind of a crank pot since this year started. Not exactly the way we are told to bring in a new year. If I am following social media trends, the start of a new year should align with me actively pursuing my best self. The one who makes good choices, eats right, takes time to exercise, loves others well, practices self-care, etc. I have not been my best self though. I’ve been quick to anger, full of constant complaints, and unhappy with myself and those around me. In other words, I have been an absolute joy to be around.
I could make up excuses for behaving and thinking this way - the end of Christmas season blues, a succession of personal trials, and feeling letdown by friends - but if I am being honest, it’s time to get over myself and great the new year. I’ve never been one for resolutions but in light of my current Debbie Downer self, I am thinking of instituting some goals for the year. Instead of being specific outcomes, I am leaning towards some general principles that I think would encourage a better self and perhaps make me a little bit less focused on what goes on in my own head.
Firstly, I value being a conscientious consumer so I am working towards making purchases from companies that put people and the environment first. I actually started this back in October but it’s an ongoing process. The lack of information concerning sources for clothing, food, and skin products is pretty disheartening. I would have thought with how trendy sustainability and corporate responsibility have become that finding company policies wouldn’t be as difficult as it has proven to be. Although, a positive outcome from not being able to easily find products that meet my standards means that I have purchased very few things. Ten points for the savings account.
Secondly, I am my happiest when I am outdoors in nature. However, when I've been holed up in front of a computer all day and it’s cold outside and nature feels so far away from my urban abode, I tend to neglect that part of my life. I am focusing on making exploration in the great outdoors a priority so that it’s incorporated into my life's rhythms as opposed to being a reward or an escape at the end of the week.
Thirdly, when life gets busy, I have strong hermit tendencies and while I am a tried and true introvert, I need community. People are social creatures, even us loner types, and hanging out with various types of folks makes us all happier people. In the past, I've been more of a community consumer than a contributor which allowed me to lazily tag along to someone else's idea rather than be the one to initiate plans. In light of this recent realization, I've been making a conscious effort to seek out others, especially when I get stuck in a cycle of work, home, bed, repeat.
So those are my 2015 goals - conscientious consumer, pursuer of outdoor adventures, and community contributor. I'm already feeling better about this year.
note:
- these photos were taken on new year's day at Heckscher State Park out on Long Island. it's a great park to cure some of those winter blues or, you know, chat about life's ups and downs with a best friend while taking your brother's dog for a walk.